September 2011
83 posts
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August 2011
104 posts
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“Gurgeh ordered a drink from the module and asked Za if he would like anything....”
– Iain M. Banks, The Player of Games
Because science fiction doesn’t give a damn what you planetbound 21C plebes think a cocktail is.
I wonder which would be the most hilarious bar to attempt to order this thing in; Bourbon & Branch, maybe?
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Science requires more answers to the Question of... →
Do I just know a whole lot of clown-averse people without realizing it? What’s wrong with clowns?
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No one can ever know
If you’ve ever wanted to know how to recreate the sound of a million-person generational starship crashing into a class V gas giant, you will need a carbon-fiber cello and about 75 different effects pedals. Included at no charge: a bewildered but possibly slightly impressed audience based out of Olympia, WA.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched with a mental cringe as a scruffy dude who...
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I'm in south Medford, Oregon right now
What is wrong with me that I assume the people in a place below a certain population density are automatically gonna be racist? I don’t think I’ve ever personally experienced racism at the hands of anyone in a small town (or if I have, I clearly don’t remember it), yet the assumption remains. What would you call that? Assumed racism? Preracism? Pracism? Just being an asshole?
...
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To me, my academics
Sometimes, weird questions hit me while I’m on the way home from band practice. Tonight it was this: “Can bigots be reeducated?” In what field would I find the answer to this question? Sociology? Psychology? An…thro…pology? H-history? Seriously, someone has to have been thinking about this, but where?
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Severely tempted
Who else was watching when Brent Spiner took us on a long first-person fictional sojourn through his Twitter feed? I’m contemplating doing the same thing, where I chronicle my adventures navigating a San Francisco turned bestial and post-apocalyptic in the wake of Steve Jobs’s resignation — panicked web designers braining each other with the corners of iPads and MacBooks,...
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"Hundred-meter onion"
A Danish phrase used to indicate anyone who looks attractive at a distance or while under the influence. “The closer you get, the more s/he makes you cry.”
Usage example: “That blonde who I thought was cute turned out to be a hundred-meter onion. I made an excuse and got out of there.”
This has been tonight’s installment of: Handy Phrases From Other Cultures!
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Watchcharlietodd:
Say Something Nice was featured on the Rachel Maddow show tonight in her “Best New Thing in the World” segment. Be sure to watch the end where she uses her own megaphone.
Now that’s what I call a signal boost.
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How to stop your coworker from hiccuping
Look her dead in the eye after a few hiccups and say: “I swear I am going to call the cops on you.”
This didn’t actually work, but I feel like it should have.
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“This is really not a good guy to be listening to on a loop. The guy literally...”
– Dan Harmon, working on some issues, talks very briefly about Elliott Smith
This image is going to stick with you longer than you thought it would, because think for a second about what that would look like, not to mention feel like.
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San Francisco!
thedefinitearticles:
This will be the last one for a while.
Saturday 9/3 Bottom of the Hill 9p The Definite Articles Passenger & Pilot Blonde Summer $10, 21+
(Tickets) (Facebook)
I just wanted to note that “for a while” means “for the year.” This will be the last show for the year. (we gotta take some for-real time off to do some writing and put ducks in a row) So...
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Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other... →
superfoo:
hahaha wow
Kate pointed me to the paper this story references, and it is legitimately one of the best reads of 2011.
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San Francisco!
thedefinitearticles:
This will be the last one for a while. We’ll have just returned from our Pacific Northwest Mega Tour, and this show will be a combination of “Welcome home!” and “We’re taking a little time off!”
Saturday 9/3 Bottom of the Hill 9p The Definite Articles Passenger & Pilot Blonde Summer $10, 21+
(Tickets) (Facebook)
All right:
Do you live in the SF Bay Area?
Are we...
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50 million dollar church for squirrels →
This strip contains a nonstop stream of chuckles from panel three onward. Just FYI.
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This Twitter account has 5569 followers →
I’m just going to put this on the table and walk away.
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#NOHOBO
Usage as follows:
“Bro, do you mind if I crash in your backyard tonight? No hobo.”
“Man, I could really go for a can of beans, like, heated up over a fire or somethin’. No hobo.”
“Bro, where the good dumpsters at in this town? No hobo.”
I … there may have been some drinking. I’m not gonna lie.
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Costco: house of surprises
I estimated that there were about 50 people inside the Costco at the same time as me who at some point in their morning routine decided to simply let their primary sartorial statement for the day be “I give up.” It was the only logical conclusion. And not a pretty one.
I would like to take a moment to give props, however, to the unassuming Mexican dad in front of me who demonstrated...
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Seattle!
thedefinitearticles:
Seattle, there are some places where everybody goes to bed at 8p on Sunday night. We hope you’re not one of those places. In fact, we hope you’re in the mood to see some excellent music in a couple of weekends:
Sunday 8/28 High Dive 513 N 36th St #G 8p, $6 with Lazer Kitty and Jamie Hawkins (whose google results are somewhat nebulous; sorry, dude)
If you show up on time,...
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Portland!
thedefinitearticles:
All right, Portland! What are you up to a couple of Fridays from now? This isn’t a test or a quiz; the answer is right here:
You’re coming to see us, aren’t you. Aren’t you!
Friday, 8/26 Langano Lounge 1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Here’s the lineup; it’s a doozy:
Le Roy Jerome (90’s electro R & B) / 6 pm The Definite Articles (that’s us) / 7 pm The Golden Hours (vintage...
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