December 2011
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Oh, I'm a genius
Guess what has two thumbs and got a Thai iced tea with his dinner tonight?
Guess what has a four-chambered heart and forgot Thai iced tea is made with black tea, which probably has caffeine in it?
Guess which member of the chordate phylum is going to be lying in bed staring at the ceiling when he should be sleeping tonight?
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We are now all in the mirror universe
I’m typing this to you on a Mac. On a computer made by Apple.
I’ve got this new short-term freelance gig (that I’m hoping will lead to something less short-term) at an office that’s given me a MacBook Pro to use. Initial reaction: it is mildly annoying to have to use Cmd + ` to tab between the windows of a given application, and so therefore this entire computer is...
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November 2011
106 posts
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attack the block
probertson:
awesome movie
Flawless.
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Someone find me a quantum physicist
I just realized something: the existence of those fucking Xmas car commercials where someone gives another person a whole new car with a bow on it is proof of one of the following things:
Time travel must be impossible, because if it were allowed by the laws of physics, some future society would’ve surely sent an unstoppable assassin to the home of the person who invented those Xmas car...
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Washmethods
-sam-i-am:
thelastgreatpoolparty:
symn replied to your post: When certain bloggy people are like, “How can you…
how about people who have dishwashers and refuse to use them, how do you feel about that
THAT IS EVEN WORSE. YOU SAVE MORE WATER WHEN YOU USE A DISHWASHER, WHAT THE FUCK.
This brings a question to mind! Is it standard in the US to wash dishes without the plug in and using running...
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Retroactive apologies
Typing this to you from more or less the exact middle of New York state, I want to offer my apologies to everyone who did not grow up here or anywhere else there was a Wegmans, because it is the best grocery store ever created by the hand of sentient beings. I feel there is a very strong chance Alton Brown himself would shed a manly tear at the majesty of this place.
HOMETOWN STATE PRIDE,...
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There are sparrows in the JetBlue terminal at JFK,...
I just saw three of ‘em going to town on some crumbs on the carpet about two feet from me.
I’m trying not to look at the clock on my computer, because it will remind me that I am awake at a truly unholy hour waiting for my flight to the ancestral homelands* to board. An hour yet remains.
* Syracuse, NY
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Math doesn't lie, folks
Within the past seven days, I have personally hung out with no less than three (3) corgis named Picnic, Daisy, and Bowie, respectively. I have no choice but to conclude that this will be the way of things from here on out — every week, another three corgis will be introduced to me until the year’s end, at which point I calculate that I will be at the head of a pack of at least 18 of...
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You guys were aware there's a new Achewood strip... →
Back from the set and covering all bets, this one includes at least one of those Roast Beef verbal gems that makes me wish I’d come up with it myself years ago.
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My tricky, tricky brain
Attempting a hard reset of my sleep schedule through the magic of melatonin has only half-worked, in that I went to sleep earlier, but I also slept longer. Additionally, there were weird dreams about a stupid time travel theory and a Matt Fraction Superman comic with wild, almost Sienkiewicz-esque art that I now wish existed IRL.
#thrilling #vital #news
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In which cookies are ultimately taken →
I sometimes wonder if I should start a list titled “Lines From Webcomics That Would Be Amazingly Horrible/Hilarious To Use During A Sexual Encounter”. There are two in this strip alone.
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Braaaaaiiinnss
animalsbeingdicks:
This is what happens when you let a litter of puppies stay up for a Walking Dead marathon.
Not gonna lie: I want to be that kid.
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Fox News viewers are less informed about current... →
seldo:
They are also less informed than viewers who consume any other news media, from CNN through national newspapers to the Daily Show.
I’m just gonna put this on the table and walk away.
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Now there's a name for it
Sarah: (waiting to cross the street) Let's not get hit.
Me: (crossing) I CANNOT BE KILLED!
Sarah: So what that means is: you can still die of natural causes, but you can't be murdered?
Me: Right. I'm invulnerable to any acts of violence by man!
Me: Or woman.
Me: Gotta close the Eowyn Loophole.
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Who needs to SEE movies?
When you can just read reviews written by me and my friends after seeing movies drunk? The Margarita Movies crew down in LA went to see Breaking Dawn this weekend, and so the Mojito Movies crew up here had to do it too. While the LA group has had a longer and more storied history of drunkenly watching terrible movies, the hometown crew is figuring its shit out, and will no doubt be around for...
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I am in trouble.
Kate got me a birthday present, but because she was unsure if we’d be able to hang out on the actual day of, she gave it to me early, thereby ensuring I’d have something to open then. Which is amazing. But now I’ve got this present that I’ve bound myself not to open for another two weeks, and I am dying of curiosity.
It’s right there. I’m looking at it now! It...
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5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation →
All of these points are good, but the first one in particular is a “Huh” moment. Something I find myself thinking whenever I watch Dirty Jobs (which is often) is “Man, that looks like an actually satisfying line of work,” but never do I think “Maybe I should do that.” Which is problematic when taken on a larger scale, given the amount of shit that needs doing...
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Burglar high on bath salts breaks into family’s... →
I refuse to believe this, if only because it’s a variation on something my friends and I always talked about doing. Does everyone have a conversation like this with their pals at some point? About how hilarious it would be to do something like break into someone’s house, do their dishes or rearrange the furniture, and lock the door on the way out? Or break into someone’s car,...
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Let's all be thankful telepaths aren't real for a...
An actual thought I’ve had:
“I wonder how much it would cost to hire a bunch of people to dress up as clowns for one day and stand in storm drains all over town, offering passersby a balloon.”
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I'm not kidding, though
I think Singles Night at Green Apple Books would be a fantastic idea. Surely I can’t have been the first person to come up with this.
I’d say the SF public library should do it at the main branch, but that place is basically a hobo museum and you’d need to hire people to keep them out for the night. The inner Richmond’s hobo population seems much sparser.
I’m...
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